My husband always says, "Every woman complains it doesn't last long enough and you want me to be done quicker?!". I'm like – "How do you know?". I have read of women who demand gigolos to be hard 8 hours straight but they should be like the mistress beasts of our race. But seriously, all these well accepted "gyan" on what women want and how to satisfy "her" is ridiculous. YouTube abounds with videos on How to make her Cum, How to give her the best orgasm and so on. Maybe some of them have a disclaimer at the end saying every woman is different and there is no one straight formula to crack them. Neither do the makers nor the viewers mind it much I guess. Because otherwise, as in every other arena, women wouldn't be judged against a well publicised model behaviour.
I was always more romantic than sexual. The place, the time, the smells and the environ were more enticing than a simple physical need being gratified. Like this idea of being kissed right under a full moon is what makes it desirous, not the simple act of kissing which could be heightened in amorous value all by itself.
The prelude to making love can be made romantic but the actual sex part is actually quite vulgar. Beyond a point I am tensed about not pissing or worse, shitting because women do feel that often right, like when you are really rocked on hard?! That builds anxiety and not pleasure though all the while your g-spot could actually be getting vigorously stimulated. Now if you were to say that it's just few who are prissy-missy and the rest don't care about incidental damage, is that even possible? It's possible to be comfortably naked in all your imperfections and deficiencies but I don't think any post modern homo sapien can comfortably shit in front of another of the same specie.
Maybe it needs a lot of practice to assuredly exercise that control and extract only pleasure from the movement but it's not an effortless thing to be within everyone's reach. Very few have the interest or the time to pursue sex as a thing of excellence. It's mostly just a necessary business you can't wait to get done with.
I also think it helps Men to have this picture of the hungry, ever-demanding, insatiable woman because it is this need and desire that fuel the ego and in fact, the existence of men. A man can't take the fact that his woman is unhappy. It is the ultimate ego shattering revelation. I have seen it. In fact one of the most brilliant of all movies, White(of the Three Colours trilogy) has a mind boggling story made out of this. The protagonist has his revenge when he has made his ex-wife scream the most she ever has, in pleasure of course.
I'm not asexual, I have my desires and I enjoy myself too but not always and definitely not the same way every one of those times. I write this to tell the few who share these thoughts and feelings that yes, we exist and we proudly should. For a long time, I was made to feel that I lack something physically or psychologically that I'm completely off track when my husband is in the heat of his passion. I would stop myself from thinking or feeling these and try badly to enjoy thinking I'll hurt him if he were to guess my non-involvement. But, it's not pleasure if it's contrived, right?