Why is it important to take public transport

It pains me to do something that I have learned is not right, or at least not desirable. Like any of you, I have read a number of articles on environment and how so many things that we do on a daily basis, if avoided can make you responsible citizens and some tiny difference to this earth. Like closing the tap when you rub soap onto your face or taking a bus when there is one going on the same route you take.

My friends chide me saying I decide on a place of outing depending on the bus connectivity. That’s very true. It has become a way of life. Of course, people who have a personal vehicle and know to ride it do not have this necessity as mobility is never a question. But for walk-only women like me, it’s a big question every time we have to step out of home and when there is no male relative around. This limitation actually threw up great discoveries for me. Living in Chennai, bus is the best mode of public transport. So whenever I’m shifting Home, I make sure there’s a bus stop within 10 minutes of walk. Having done that, one of my favorite pastimes is hunting out events for the day from the newspaper and finding the bus route from Google Maps. I must say Google Maps has improved much. It is nearly accurate compared to listing non existent bus stops and not-prevalent buses a few months back. And those bus journeys give me the much needed time and space for myself and my soliloquies. I have made the most important decisions in my life in those moments of rhythm and tranquility. The sounds of the street and the lulling sense of movement have a remarkable effect of calming the mind. Also the peculiarities of human nature of complete strangers that you get to observe lighten the day. The other day, I saw an old man with a black muffler and thick glasses feeding biscuits to a dog in the middle of the road. It was such a street-photography moment. Another day when a day laborer was walking with his daughter on his shoulders and that child had the most innocent and beautiful smile I have seen to this day. These are such human moments that you miss if you are inside an air conditioned cab poring over your digital updates.

Taking public transport is also a great way of knowing a new city. The infamous Bombay suburban network was also where I had people help me get to the door of the train in time for my station. A lady in the bus in Hyderabad politely pointed out that I was occupying the seat meant for senior citizens and went so far as to find me another vacant spot instead. Traveling by the ferry in Fort Kochi was a memorable experience where I saw motorcycles being taken along like they were bicycles. The Metro in Delhi makes you believe perfection that you don’t have to be in foreign lands to experience world class infrastructure and clock work precision systems.

When you take a bus or a train, it is inevitable you walk some distance and this throws open other wonderful possibilities. I wouldn’t have seen the incredible flower market of Bombay if I hadn’t taken the local train. Walking those few meters to the bus stop or railway station, you realize what a blessing trees are amidst the concrete jungle our cities have become. Getting under that sliver of shade is like finding an oasis in a desert.

What actually impelled me to think about this is a passing remark by a friend that stung and pestered me over and over. It made me wonder why development and progress in life is taken to mean graduating from buses to taxis. While a truly developed country is one where even the richest man takes the public transport for its sheer efficiency. It makes much economic sense to travel with 100 other people than spend that fuel on one bloated individual. Not only that, public transport takes off that tension of driving in these days of nerve racking traffic and congestion. By being kept farther from the engine and the driver, you are also far removed from the scene of road rage. The possibility and impact of accidents are much lesser too. Now, I am not saying that you take the bus at any cost of convenience. But only if you appreciate the goodness of public transport will you pause a second to weigh your options and not jump into a cab instantly. Most often, people do not even attempt to find out the bus connectivity in a place. I agree that our public transport systems leave much to be desired but sometimes they satisfy your travel requirement. In fact, many times they do. Spend that one minute to find out and then make a choice instead of blindly riding on your own because you can afford it.

Progress is about greater efficiency. It is not about being too clean for that occasional grease but about the mental elevation to look at things beyond the surface.

 

 

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Why should you have children

I am an educated, employed, independent woman not caught up much with social mores and compulsions but I married pretty early by today’s standards. I married earlier than I wanted to because my parents were itching and whether I like it or not, daughters are a liability. It’s like owning someone else’s property and being shit scared everyday lest any damage come to it. I may not agree with it or see any logic in the thinking but I care to let a burden off my father’s shoulder. And anyway there was this person I wanted to live with and so it happened on a bright sunny morning in a beautiful old temple built of stone which shone well on my wedding album.

We were two people deeply in love with one another, or at least that’s what we thought. Before marriage we would eagerly and hungrily wait for that one hour and travel a long distance only to meet and smile and our day would be made. We had elaborate discussions on how we would live delving into every small detail. Every possibly issue was ironed out, it appeared. But a week into marriage, after all the initial excitement, we were tearing at each other’s hair and calling names. Now we loved ourselves and our ego so much more than the person in front. Quarrel would spring from nowhere and not one day would go peaceably. A lot of it was just compatibility issues. The irritants of living with a messy guy for me and the suffocation of living with a prissy-missy for my husband. In between all this we would still go to beaches, movies, dinners, lunches and ice creams. We were lucky to be able to go on with this everyday paradox. Cuddle and kiss one moment and yell and scream the other.

Sometimes when things would soar up for days on end, we badly wanted a break. I went to visit friends and family, my husband was only too glad I did. If there was one reckless volley of words, we resolved to stay away and not come back, at least for some time. Every time we quarreled we tried to escape the situation, to prevent future possibilities by dismissing each other from our lives. But that’s stupid. Our rational mind knew it but that supreme ego would not accept, it just won’t bow down, even for love. In fact, we had forgotten how we loved each other, how much we wanted to live together. There was no “living” happening. It was plain bitter existence.

Then came our lovely boy. Now our day revolved almost entirely around him. If we spoke, it was about him, most of the times. He designed our day, anew every morning. We didn’t have the time or space to fight, so we gradually stopped fighting. So much that we don’t even argue with a loud voice anymore. At the maximum, it’s only a civil expression of displeasure. I grew more accommodative of chaos and my darling husband developed sensitivity to 50 of the 100 things that annoy me. Just in case we have a bad day and I wish we could stay away, I dismiss the thought even before it can take shape because I know I have to be home for my son. Two self indulgent adults are now entrusted with a critical project of Nourish-and-Nurture. It’s not about I anymore but We and Ours.

Marriage and Motherhood have made me a much better person. I    can now claim acquaintance with patience and tolerance. We laugh for no reason because our son enjoys it so much that he would laugh along making peculiar sounds of gurgles and giggles. Life is more difficult with a baby but it is immensely more joyful too. I didn’t plan my first child and I’m glad I did not. Otherwise I might not be enjoying this surprise discovery so much. How much time is enough time? Be it to make money, or build a career, or travel the world? The roller coaster is on no matter what choice you make but sometimes, just sometimes, it’s light and nice to just be and not think.